So honestly I haven't been updating or doing much on the art front
lately. Since the 30/30 show in July I been burnt out. On July 3rd I had a panic
attack over the project and called someone I really liked. Someone I wanted to be
romantically envolve with. But I never told him I was
Bipolar and we had a fall out due to him not being able to deal with my disorder. I had
also stooping taking my
meds after starting the project June 1st. I wanted to see what would happen with my art as i
tapered down my
meds and
reduced to nothing. I used the projected to see if I wanted to stay on
meds.
And the truth is I need
Lithium to keep me balanced. I have been on a roller coasted ride from hell and back and I see now that I can't just
mediate or do some new age shit. I have a disorder in my brain.
Lithium helps to restore balance and allows me to better focus on my work and my emotional
problems. That doesn't mean it makes me perfect but it gives me a chance to work on myself and my craft.
I don't have to be another sad artist who kills them self. (not that I plan that. Would make too many people happy and frankly I'm not in the mood to make any ass holes happy.) So at last day two of being on Lithium. The future is what I want to shape it to be and shaping the key core for me.
I quite smoking and I am starting to slowly but surely work out. I want to be better person all the way around. In side and out. So the break is over. I have been working way too many hours at work and not enough hours in my art studio.
So back to the drawing board folks!